I am pretty much 100% bulimic lately.
I don't know what is wrong with me, but I need to snap out of it before I make myself really, really sick.
I had a planned binge and purge today... And by planned, I mean, I was at the store shopping for a few necessary items, and next thing I knew I was buying cupcakes, battered chicken, and pasta salad from the deli.
Then I was speeding home with only one thing on my mind: Binge and purge.
I haven't done something like that in almost a year.
Augh, I just blew my nose and there were cupcake fragments in my nose from purging so hard. Repulsive.
I don't know how to stop it lately... It's like food has this sudden power over me, and the only way I can fight it is by throwing it back up...
I need to get back on track. I need to stop this before I get found out or fat... Purging doesn't fix eating it in the first place.
I need help.
CALLY!!! You need to stop that, asap! you know its bad, please please please look after yourself.
ReplyDeletexx
:(
ReplyDeleteI wish i had advice, but I don't.
If only it was as easy as just stopping, or just not eating the "bad food"...
maybe if you get to the bottom of whats bugging you/triggering the binge it would help?
~Harlow
I have always feared this.
ReplyDeleteThe fast food run.
So I promised never to do it,
To go buy junk. Because
It gets worse, I hear.
Pizza Hut then
McDonald's
Popeye's...
all in a few hours.
Think about your life.
Anything triggering?
Any patterns?
Think about food=
Calories=
energy.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I need to snap out of it before I make myself really, really sick.
Ironic humor:
As if you really cared
About getting sick.
you should've stopped hurting
Yourself
Long ago,
and literally pulling out your insides to make yourself sick.
I used to want help, too.
but only when I felt unstable,
like this.
You'll be fine.
Just keep posting,
Getting it out.
Think more before you act and
Believe it's just a phase.
I believe in you.