Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Visit complete, pounds lost, and photos of myself. :-/

I managed to LOSE while my friends were here… I averaged around 500 cals a day, and I made sure we went hiking, walking, etc so I could kind of get in a workout.

I don’t even feel hungry lately… And food has become, yet again, something I am terrified of, and something that mentally and emotionally wears me down to the point where I just don’t want to deal with it.

I like being here. I like the counting and planning and terror over fat. It makes me lose. It makes me confident. It makes me happy in a twisted kind of way.

My current weight as of this morning was 115lbs. Just have to keep losing.

And I am posting pictures, though I still have a long way to go… A LONG way…

I’m huge.

However, I feel if I never let you all see who I am, it make my blog kind of meaningless, so here you are.

I will post these for an undetermined period of time and remove them as soon as I decide I can’t handle them being public any longer.

[Deleted photos... Sorry, ladies. Thank you for all the sweet comments.]

As you can tell, I’m only 5’4”. Short stubby legs, fat tummy, huge thighs. Even my knees are fat.

I just want to thin down all over and tone up a LOT.

However, I like my collarbones. They've always been really defined.

Alas, I must run.

Think thin, ladies. I’ll post again as soon as privacy permits.


  1. You have amazing shoulders/collarbone, I love it. Chin up, girl :)


  2. you are beautiful! so tiny. i am jealous!

  3. Oh my word, you are so effing cute!!!!!

  4. At least you don't have big, fat, jiggly, boobs as me!
    You look pretty. I know you properly don't believe it -but you do.
    The bikini top really suits you, and I envy your collarbones and slim arms.
    Don't take the problem areas so close to heart, you can always work on it till it look the way you want! :)
    (By the way, being called petite is a complement)

    Love Cille

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  6. I thought you were thinspo before i read the post - you're so adorable, im a shorty too so i definitely know how hard it is for us :(
    so proud of your intake and output - keep it up darling

  7. k... if it were that easy and simple to eat in moderation i don't think obesity would be on the rise, the diet industry wouldn't be making millions etc.

    yes the key to weight loss is so easy and logical on paper; portion control, balance, moderation etc but for someone with an ED its not that easy.
    come to think of it, its probably not that easy for most people... why else would oprah keep losing and gaining the same 70 pounds her whole life?

  8. I'm just SO annoyed that I'm deleting that comment.
    Don't assume that you KNOW HOW MUCH I work out or that I'm eating "junk" or give me "advice" on how to thin down after pointing out every flaw with my body.
    And don't say my life is "normal" when you don't know a fucking thing about me. YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME OR ANYTHING ABOUT ME.
    That whole thing is such bullshit, I can't stand it anymore.