Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Sick today

I feel like absolute shit today.

My period is kicking my ass, and I had too much Splenda or caffeine or something today and got REALLY sick. Like, take a nap sick, which never happens. I attempted a workout, but couldn't manage to get through it. Almost threw up and fainted... Almost fainted in the shower as well... And I've had the worst cramps ALL day, even after 2 Aleve, 3 Extra strength Tylenol, and 2 Midol.


I haven't felt so physically ill in a long time. And my mood is horrid. I cried about how fat I am multiple times today. Which, those of you who saw my pictures SAW... Sorry, they're gone now, loves. I can't stand the thought of people knowing what I look like and how grotesque I truly am.

But, alas...

I've been doing really well monitoring my calorie intake... Now it's time to up the workout and choose foods that have more to offer... Like fiber, neg cals, etc.

Tomorrow's goal:
1.) Solid hour plus workout. (Should burn about 400 cals)
2.) The following foods equaling about 300 cals
Oatmeal or Fiber cereal - 100
Tuna Lettuce wrap - 90
Veggies - 40
Apple - 60
3.) Thinspo from the libraryyyy!

I can't keep ordering books without the fiance getting suspicious.

In more emotional news...

I need to be thin.

This is not the time to get emotional, but the time to work harder.

And while I had quite a bit of a breakdown today, I REFUSE to get depressed about how terrible I look in my pictures...

I'm simply going to exercise longer, eat less, weigh more often.

I WILL achieve what I want, no matter what it takes.

On another note, it's amazing how people assume they know things about you when they read your blog.

Judging and knowing are 2 very different things.

1 comment:

  1. i'm finally at a computer and can comment on your blog! what did some readers assume from reading your blog?

    i have that in real life, people see me or pictures of me and assume all sorts of things... and i'm just a regular old boring person.