Saturday, June 5, 2010

Should have gone to the damn party

After my B&P last night I had ANOTHER binge... This time with no purge...

3 pieces of pizza.

"Confess your sins."

3 greasy pepperoni slathered oil-dripping pieces.

This is why I can't purge anymore... It leaves my defenses low and I eat whatever the fiance suggests. I contemplated a purge afterward, but 2 in a day is not a cycle I want to get into, so I made myself suck it up and suffer through the digesting.

Today's recovery plan: veggie lax, water, water, and water, workout once I've finished cleaning the house.

My weight says I'm up a pound from yesterday, but I haven't had a BM yet, so I'll weight after I flush the pound of pizza I ate... Augh. I want to throw up thinking about it.

Now this weekend will be the real struggle (like last night wasn't)... Some of my friends from college are coming into town. My dearest friends who I adore who have never known ED Cally.

The ones who weren't there when my personality fragmented into two.

My goals are to not exceed 500-600 cals a day and no purging. Minimal alcohol and squeeze in a workout if I can manage. If I do one today and Monday after they leave Sunday will be the only time I don't get one, so that will be okay.

The alcohol and calories will be the issues.

I'm going to attempt a fast today if I can manage... At least until whatever we do for dinner.

But, alas... I'll post if I get the chance.

Think thin, ladies.

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