Saturday, June 12, 2010

Last night and liquid fasting

Last night.... Oh, last night... I was drunk when I wrote that. From a SINGLE drink...

I was on my home, had just parted ways with Andy in the parking lot, when I looked over and saw Chevy's car. I pulled in next to it.

I told myself, "I'm going to call Andy and see if she wants to have a drink. If she says no, I go home, if she says yes, I stay here. I'm not going to go find Chevy, but if we happen to see each other, so be it."

Terrible idea.

Of COURSE Andy wanted to have a drink, she turned her car around and met me immediately. I walked inside, Chevy was at the bar next to some girl. He saw me, looked surprised. I walked over and he asked who I'm with.

What he meant is, "Your fiance isn't here, is he?"

I told him Andy is meeting me. He turned away from the girl like he wasn't talking to her. Andy and I ordered, settled at a table, and I watched him. I like him so much. But he's so fucked up in the head. He didn't talk to the girl anymore, she looked dejected. He basically turned his back to her. Then 4.5 minutes later, he came over to our table. I invited him to sit down.

It was so awkward.

I started to get REALLY drunk from a few sips, and they noticed. They made me order food. It wasn't enough once I finished, and I felt REALLY awkward eating in front of them, so there was no WAY I was going to get more. The whole thing was stressful. I was too drunk to enjoy anything, I was pissed that I had broken my fast, but KNEW I HAD to eat, and Chevy...

Chevy loves me. And talking to me hurts him.

This is painfully obvious.

The fiance called about a half hour later and said he was coming to join me. NOT exactly what I wanted, but I knew I couldn't drive myself home.

Chevy went outside to smoke a ciggy and didn't come back. I texted him when I left, but he didn't reply, which is what I was fully expecting.

Liking him would be so much easier if he didn't like me more.

I was depressed when we left, the fiance wanted to go get food. We stopped at Denny's, and I had chicken tenders with honey mustard, coleslaw, and tomato slices.

I got home and threw it up, along with the booze and appetizer from the bar.

I brushed me teeth and passed out, only to awake this morning regretting going to the dive bar and vowing that I will stop scanning the parking lot for his car every time I'm in the neighborhood.

But, drama aside, today I'm liquid fasting. And tomorrow as well.

I feel good about the water fasting I did, and if I hadn't broken it with my stupid drama eating bullshit, I would be right on track.

Today's intake planned: Fuze juice, Diet cran juice, and V8 totaling 100 cals. And LOTS of water!

Tomorrow the same, and then Monday only fruits/veggies most of which will be raw.

Monday I leave to go back home for a couple days to get my marriage license, order a wedding cake, etc.

I'll post when I can.

Hope you ladies are doing well.

Think thin.

1 comment:

  1. Ok where is your post that explains the whole Chevy situation? I need to read that asap.