Saturday, November 6, 2010

Disgusting

Last night was a travesty.

An absolute horror.

I didn't eat all day. Then at dinner, I had a normal size meal. I thought, "It can't hurt. If anything, I'll purge." So there I was, eating Tapas. Eating less than the other girls, drinking less, but my body is not used to a "normal" amount of food:
1 cup of rice
3 shrimp
1/3 of a salad
2 inch cube of cheese
2 slices bread
Olive Oil
1 bite beef
2 bites gnocchi
3 bites of sausage
2 bites of chicken
1/2 a spring roll

It's not a ton, but it felt like bricks in my stomach.

I wanted to purge. I felt like I needed to. But there was NO opportunity. And trust me, I tried and tried until my behavior looked really suspicious.

I felt DISGUSTING. So full of SHIT and calories that I didn't want in there. I felt SICK all night long. Dinner, drinks, smokes, party, more drunk food (crackers and some dip stuff) SICK.

And this morning I feel STILL feel sick.

The scale scorned me, as is my digestion.

I feel on the verge of throwing up but I know there's nothing but bile left.

SO, thus we come to the plan today:

Planned eats, NO CARBS, NO SUGAR, NO PROTEIN.
Fiber pills and Diet Coke - 10 cals
Apple - 60 cals
Peaches - 100 cals
Sugarfree Red Bull - 10 cals
Apple - 60 cals
Fiber cereal - 100 cals
Total: 340 cals

I may go without the peaches.

Right now I don't want ANYTHING, and I hope that feeling stays a while.

Think thin, ladies.

4 comments:

  1. Aw :/ sorry yesterday ended badly for you, it was kinda the same for me..i ate nothing then got drunk and ate chips :( lots of chips.
    we'll get past it :) love you x

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  2. If anyone can do it, you can! Just persevere :]

    xo
    Victoria

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  3. You can do today easy (: Today is a new day, and you can shed that weight in no time (:
    Love xx.

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  4. There is nothing worse than being out with friends, eating a little too much then having the incredible urge to run and throw up but not being able too, and feeling gross the rest of the night.

    I am worried, in your newer post you said you had an irregular heartbeat? that is not good, please be careful.

    ~ Harlow

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