Totally binged last night... After my post about how I’ve been restricting so much... Ironic.
Yesterday’s calories were probably at around 1200.
BUT, when I was lying in bed last night absolutely HATING myself and thinking about my behavior, I started to notice a pattern with myself... As soon as I get to GW#1, I think, “I’ve done so well! I’m not going to be so hard on myself for a bit...” And then I binge. I eat a zillion cals in a day, do the same thing the next day, and the next day, and then I gain. And then once I get up about 4+lbs over GW#1, I freak out and restrict a LOT.
And I am BREAKING THIS CYCLE!!!
No more being easy on myself. No more junk food. No more binges because I’m doing well.
I am NOT doing well ENOUGH.
I stepped on the scale this morning and was up a pound from fucking yesterday. I almost took a lax, but decided against it because we were going out in public, and no thank you.
B: Coffee - 0
L: Grilled veggies and meat – 250-300?
D: Fudgesicle, and some popcorn - 140
Probably around 400-450. Not sure about lunch because the fiancé and I went to a Mexican place in town, so who knows what was in it.
MUCH better than yesterday tho.
AND I worked out for over an hour, as hard as I could. I filled my iPod with some pumpin’ music the other day, and MAN did I sweat my ass off! I burned about 300 cals on the elliptical alone.
But anyway, I need a shower.
No thinspo today, because the fiancé found some and he’s all confused at to what it is and I’m SO fucking paranoid about him finding this lately.