I understand so much more today, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I fucked up last night. He fucked up more.
Does everyone deserve a chance? Do people ever change?
Why can't I let GO of certain things? Why do I think I have the right to act crazy and nothing bad will happen?
I hit him first. Body slammed him onto the floor. I was angry. He wouldn't stop being fucked up, but how could he?
I should have walked away. I should have let it go til morning. I should have handled things differently so many times last night...
I'm not trying to justify his actions. I'm not saying we're staying together or that everything is fixable... I'm just saying I made mistakes. Mistakes that I won't make again.