Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Day 2 white week

We decide on a white week.

I spend the day eating because I don't know how to be sober anymore.

He leaves me at home and goes to play pool with his friends because he doesn't know how to be around me if we're not fucked up or fucking.

I text other people and cry to my mom.

Everyone says leave him. I know I probably should.

We fight via text, and I wish I had enough money to drive to my parents house overnight. I contemplate going to my guy BFFs house. I contemplate sleeping in my car somewhere. I contemplate doing a lot of things but instead just lie in bed and cry.

He texts me. He calls me. I ignore all of it. The last thing I say to him is "fuck it." I feel like I mean it way more than I have in the past... That feeling scares me.

I want to make myself throw up but it's been too long since I've eaten anything.

Will this ever be worth it? Or will he always continue to just not fucking get it?

1 comment:

  1. Aww sweetie, I hope things get better for you! :(

    But sometimes the only way to get through tough times is to walk away, if its hurting you more then its helping, its time to think about what is best for you. Never know, one day you guys might work it out.

    I hope everything looks up for your sake. :) xx

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