Uncomfortable

The self-hatred today is fierce. Binge, purge, eat shit. I try on 5 bras before I can get out of the house - feeling suffocated by every one. I finally manage with invisible socks to get there. 

Then I see her. She has got to be seriously uncomfortable. All the time. No matter where she is or what she’s doing. 

I breathe, but it’s labored. 

Not as labored as hers.

I don’t know what to do with myself when I just don’t have the cognitive capacity to do things. I can’t decide what to do, what to eat, what to think about, what to let myself get into.

Idk if it was the cough medicine or nah. Can’t figure that out for a few days now. 

Fuck everything.