Settle or leave

He gets nice when he needs something or wants something. Then it’s back to being a dick. I am really starting to resent him. 

I’m starting to think the only way to be happy is to be alone. Maybe what we think is achievable in relationships is not real. Maybe couples either resent each other and settle, or leave. Maybe there is no long-term happiness with a person. I don’t know anyone that has it. Ever. 

Maybe I got the best part of this already and it’s time to go. Maybe that’s what happens - you get a good small portion, and then you have to either settle or leave. 

I choose leave. I’m tired of being treated like this. I wonder if he will do it so I don’t have to. I wish he would. But I know he won’t make that decision for us. It’s always been me. And then I let him back in. So why would he change?? There’s no consequences. Seeing me suffer is not a consequence for him.