Food

I have been so so sick. I haven’t had an appetite at all, and I’ve been eating pretty minimally. Normally that would result in a huge weight loss in the past, but I think after decades of fucking with it, my metabolism is officially shot. I have it in the back of my head to get a new primary soon with my new insurance, and I’m going to discuss this with them. Openly. I’ve been overweight for so long now no matter what I do - and it’s not some unfathomable obese girl in the mirror, but a chubby lady that wants better than this. 

I wish I had never given into this shit. I wish it hadn’t worked the first time. I wish I had a mom who was good with food. I wish 90s diet culture would have just burned in hell. I wish I could just eat like a normal person. 

Still haven’t purged.