Actually ok

The goal lately has been under 1,000 calories per day. It’s been 5 solid days. I am actually feeling good. 

The biggest part is planning. I need things available. I need to like the things. It’s ok if they are ridiculous and random meals - I need them. I need to be ok with them and go to whatever lengths to get them - even if that’s a random grocery order at 8am that’s all yogurts and vegetables and chicken. I need to make a list of things that are ok with me to eat. I need to allow myself whatever makes me feel fueled and good. 

I need to keep up not smoking. It’s made a huuuuge difference with my eating. I can tell my meds are working properly now that I’m not. 

Idk I hope all this lasts. I hope I get my new job start date soon. I’m scared about it and trying not to be. 

I bought a car. I hope I get to keep it.