It’s extremely difficult to have an autistic child. It’s so hard that he can’t communicate with us. I literally worry every day about his future.
Today he had a headache, and we didn’t realize. He was acting rotten, and I realized he must be feeling sick. I think he has had some seasonal allergies going on, and he’s been stuffy lately. He was putting his forehead against ours, rubbing it super hard, and yelling. He slapped me in the middle of the forehead, and the hubby told me he had done it to him also. He started slapping his own forehead. I suddenly realized at that point what he was communicating. I gave him some Tylenol and settled him down to let it kick in, and he became a different kid. I know it’s frustrating for him not being able to talk to us, and it’s frustrating for us also. It’s a fucking hard parenting experience.
The lack of sleep is because he doesn’t sleep well. He only sleeps about 5 hours at a time lately which is not enough. Even when I manage to get to sleep close to the time he does (which is difficult because it’s earlier than I feel tired), I still only get 5 hours of sleep max. It’s been 3 nights like this in a row currently. Last night he woke up at 3. At 3:30 the hubby came in which woke him up more (and he knows his presence is not welcome in the middle of the night, because this is what happens), and I left. I went back to bed for an hour until the husband got him back in his crib and then I checked on him and he was finally going back to sleep. At 5am. And then I had to get up at 8. So I slept from 11-3, 3:30-4:30, and then 5:30-8… it’s not even enough sleep, and it’s completely interrupted, and I’m behind on sleep in general right now so it was definitely not enough. I need him to sleep a long and easy nights sleep.
I don’t know how to manage it. I feel so badly for my husband in this… if I feel like this, I know he is worse off.
I need a nap. Fuck.
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