12 days ago. Which is not enough time to even re-conceptualize all the needed things in my head. My whole world is a fucking different place, and I’m not coping well. We hadn’t spoken in like 4 years… Even just writing this is making me spiral… I literally am not ok.
Nothing is ok literally at all, and time just keeps passing, for some odd reason.
I currently do not know if my fast is spiritual or disordered.
I didn’t know it was possible to feel regret so deeply.
It’s such an absolutely overwhelming feeling of regret, like nothing I have ever felt before… astronomical.
And coming from me, of all people; that’s saying a lot. I basically fuck up everything, don’t I?
I don’t think I’ve made one good decision in my whole fucking life. Maybe this is what my parents experienced. Fuck ups who just couldn’t get it right.
Doing too much in the wrong direction.
No comments:
Post a Comment