Hustle time

I got a new job. I could do cartwheels every time I think about it, I'm so excited. 

I told my current manager, and I’ve yet to hear back, which is a bit concerning. It’s been several days. And I owe him invoices like crazy rn, and I don’t want to get sued. You just never know… 

But regardless, I’m ready for the change. 

I’ve been working from home, and the reset has been nice. Only like two days of it thus far, but it’s been so relaxing. I fucking went back to bed today for 2 hours, because it was cold and no one needed me in that time frame. 

Tomorrow kicks off Thanksgiving break for the kids, so we will all be home for like 9 days, but after that ima schedule myself a legit day off on a Wednesday so no one will be here. Just need to earn it first. Then I’ll smoke a shit load and eat some junk and lay in bed all day. 

I can’t wait to earn a lazy day.

I am gradually increasing my productivity, because I want to be slated for a smooth transition in January, and I’m hella behind on life rn. I did a fuck ton of paperwork today tho even I took a nap, and I managed it with very little food and hella cramps… 

I need to lose weight. I wonder how many times I’ve written that on this blog… 

There might be a slight relapse happening… Not 500 status, but 700. I’ve been on edblr hardcore. I spent hours planning meals and foods yesterday. I got a couple nicotine vapes. I’m not watching my caffeine.

I don’t care. The eating disorder is never going anywhere clearly, so at this point in my life I might as well just be skinny and obsessed. Because it not, then I’m fat and obsessed. I cannot possess moderation - the obsession is the only thing I get to pick and it’s either obsessed with eating or not eating. 

I need to get my hair cut Dec 13, get new glasses asap, and lose weight. I got all new makeup and ordered bras. I’m going to get some wardrobe organization and improvement. But first I need to not be so fat. 

I need to get work really caught up, pay some bills, and lose some weight. Basically it’s hustle time. 

And in final updates, husband and I are doing well. I just don’t think we are ever really well, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I have a massive personality disorder.