Silent treatment. My husband is an asshole, and I can’t tolerate it. I laid in bed until 2pm today just to avoid him. I think I’ll continue to avoid him for another couple days. I can’t handle the way he acts lately, and if days continue to be like today and the past couple weeks, we’ll likely end this relationship. I’d hate for it to come to that, but I’m also capable and willing if I don’t get what I need from this relationship. Otherwise what’s the fucking point??
There’s no way I'm having another kid.
I had a realization that if I continue to be miserable in my body, it will ruin my life. I need to lose weight. I need to take better care of myself. I need to stop smoking and binging. I need to put this into action and not just say it over and over in my life.
The past 2 years I have binged terribly. I have not watched what I ate for more than a couple months. I have smokes too much. It started when I was home alone and depressed every day. And it continued when that changed, because of Covid. Now I need to figure out how to let my depression just exist and stop trying to medicate it with food that then causes depression. I’m in a negative feedback loop.
I’m sick. My stomach is in shambles, my body aches, and I’m congested. I have myself convinced it’s Covid.
How do I get happy again?? 800 calories today seemed to help. I smoked but didn’t binge. Maybe it is possible. Maybe I just need to really focus on the fact that I need my change.
Tomorrow I will update my insurance and find a doctor. I need to be on antidepressants.
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