The world was so full of hurt today.
Physical and medical and emotional... Hurt from the past and from the present and potential hurt from the future. Hurt about abuse and body image and failed relationships and addiction and hopelessness.
Today was one of the first days that my job drained me rather than gave me life.
I came home wanting to see my silver lining. And then he came home hurt.
I have wanted to cry a few times today, but stopped myself. Now I want it to flow from me, but after such a draining day, I can’t seem to get it to. I had to stop the tears for the sake of others every other time today. Now I want them and can’t have them.
My life is sacrifice. Understanding. Seeing the darkest parts of things. And then when there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am supposed to look away. I am forced to pick out the tiniest detail and demonstrate it to those who don’t have the vision to see it. I’m holding up microscopic particles, saying “see here!?” and they respond, “no, my eyesight isn’t that good.”
Today was a rough day. I want the world to be a better place.
And I want to cry.
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