Still torn

Spent time with bird the other night... It was nice. Easy. Not amazing but I wasn't looking for amazing. Just comfortable. And it was.

He told me he wants to date me. That I have an amazing personality. That I'm gorgeous.

I got wasted and messed around with him a little but nothing really happened. We were both too drunk.

I don't want him. It was nice but I only did it out of boredom. Experimentation. Whatever.

I want my boyfriend. I just want him to be a better boyfriend and not have so much shit in his life I have to deal with.

He says in a few months things will be better. He's made changes. Tried. Made strides.

I'm just not sure.