Thursday, August 11, 2016

Fuck my life

MW didn't come to work tonight. I was annoyed. And then annoyed that it annoyed me. He texted me all night. 

He gives me the attention I so desperately want. 

"What are you doing? But what are you doing?"

Stil trying to get over things, I guess. But maybe that's just an excuse to do what I want. Right now I want to feel pretty and important for someone to spend time on and not taken for granted. And I'm tired of asking for those things. 

I want him. I want the one night he says I can have. I know the boost it'll give things... And I want to feel all of it. 

Adam will be a disappointment for eternity. So the solution is to severely and drastically lower current standards. But I don't want to just walk away. I still want to be his friend for some ridiculous God-forsaken reason. And I want to have a new boy toy and him to see it like I had to see he and Hannah. 

I want everything this would give me... Except the guilt. 

No comments:

Post a Comment