I need to stop drinking. My body can't handle it. I didn't even feel like I got that shitty last night... I still feel like garbage. Also I don't really fucking enjoy myself when I go out and get fucked up. I want to stay home with my man and not be out with the crazies.
I got a lot done today beyond it. I feel guilty about skipping and fucking lying my way through 2/3 of my paper but I'm still a work in progress... One day I won't even remember today or last night or anyone or anything I think is important in this current moment.
I just need balance. More of it. I need to be stricter with routines and schedule free time instead of stealing it from days I should be out hustling to get ahead.
I am lucky he loves me... His snores next to me before bedtime are musical. I just hope the random short calls at 2am aren't anything sketchy and that the chicks he talks to in his game aren't anything either. I fucking worry a lot.