Saturday, March 24, 2012

Dont want to care

He gets mad when I tell someone. Says he thought it was a secret.

Asks me not to talk about it anymore. Fuck. Him. I'll tell whomever whatever I want.

He says it's because she has a big mouth, that she'll tell everyone. Maybe, but I don't think that's the real reason.

I think it's because he wants to fuck her. My one good friend. He posts all over her face book to the point where I want to delete him. Anything I say is followed up by his posts. The two of them going back and forth.

Maybe she wants to fuck him too and I just happened to be first.

I don't think she ever would, especially not now, but the thought is haunting me. Even though she's told me how she's not into him before any of this shit happened you just never know.

Who knows. Maybe I'll be done now and he'll move on. I tell him the rules for texting me and he doesn't like them. I tell him I'll text him tomorrow but I have no plans to. I think it would be best if I didn't.

Because Im starting to care. Too much. Too quickly. Who cares if they fuck? In the grand scheme of my life these two people will mean so little to me I should not be bothered right now... But I am.

I don't want to care. I don't want to be emotional. I don't want to feel jealous or mad or annoyed. But I am.

And fuck it.

I may be a fucking wreck right now but one thing remains true:

I am the skinnier girl.


I confront. He blows up. He stops answering my texts.

We probably don't talk tomorrow. But like I said, that's probably best.

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