Friday, December 30, 2011


Slipped up.

I should never have taken the first bite... It lead to more.

3oz of ham.
5 peanuts.
7 almonds.
A cookie.
= about 500 calories.

I could have kept it down, it's not too much... But I panicked. It was easier to throw it up than to worry about it turning into fat in my system all night long.

My emotional fat brain said, "Throw it up. Fewer calories is always better. It doesn't matter if it's an okay amount. Less is still better."

So I purged.

I felt better but... I don't know how to express it.

I mean, 500 calories??? That's so LITTLE. In fact, when I threw it up, it was such a small amount...

I know why I purged, but at the same time, I DON'T know why.

Alas... tomorrow will be a better day. No mia and no cookie to make me panic.

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