Saturday, September 3, 2011

Ewie


I feel SICK this morning.

I didn't weight myself because I'm scared scared scared of the number... I know I'm bloated as a mofo.

AND, I feel depressed in general. There are a LOT of things that are just getting me DOWN lately.

And I feel homesick, but don't understand why. Where exactly is home now?

I miss the village a bit. I miss the mountains and I know fall is approaching, and I wish I could go visit... But when I lived there I was SO anxious to leave... So anxious to move back and see my friends. Whom I've barely seen.

I guess that's not true. I've seen certain people a LOT more, and some that I haven't seen in years... I just miss a few specific people that I should be spending more time with.

And I just feel overwhelmed by money and responsibilities and wishing I could go back to grad school NOW. Like right now.

I think the issue is I want my life to CHANGE. I want to be successful and not depressed and not eating disordered and not poor and lonely.

I want to be successful and thin the right way and happy and surrounded by people and places and things that are exciting and have the money to do what I want to do!

But I have to have patience. And stick to the game-plan.

And start studying for the GRE so I can pass it when I DO get the opportunity to take it!

Well, that's all. Enough moping.

Think thin, ladies.

2 comments:

  1. I totally feel this way. I'm tired of waiting for the good and working my butt off for my life to get better. I just want it to be better NOW. So sick of being patient.

    And living on my own is unbearably lonely sometimes :(

    Stay strong beautiful, you are loved.

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  2. I think we all feel your pain. I wish i could just zap myself to get instantly thin. but it will never happen. i wish you the best of luck, maybe somebody came make some progress around here...:/

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