Saturday, September 3, 2011
I feel SICK this morning.
I didn't weight myself because I'm scared scared scared of the number... I know I'm bloated as a mofo.
AND, I feel depressed in general. There are a LOT of things that are just getting me DOWN lately.
And I feel homesick, but don't understand why. Where exactly is home now?
I miss the village a bit. I miss the mountains and I know fall is approaching, and I wish I could go visit... But when I lived there I was SO anxious to leave... So anxious to move back and see my friends. Whom I've barely seen.
I guess that's not true. I've seen certain people a LOT more, and some that I haven't seen in years... I just miss a few specific people that I should be spending more time with.
And I just feel overwhelmed by money and responsibilities and wishing I could go back to grad school NOW. Like right now.
I think the issue is I want my life to CHANGE. I want to be successful and not depressed and not eating disordered and not poor and lonely.
I want to be successful and thin the right way and happy and surrounded by people and places and things that are exciting and have the money to do what I want to do!
But I have to have patience. And stick to the game-plan.
And start studying for the GRE so I can pass it when I DO get the opportunity to take it!
Well, that's all. Enough moping.
Think thin, ladies.