Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Uniform

My new work uniform is my worst nightmare.

Suntan pantyhose with an elastic band so tight around your midsection it'd make ANY girl look like she's a rolly polly (paired with the fact that I AM a rolly polly... it's awful) "shorts" (a.k.a. underwear) designed to squeeze your waist and hips and go up your ass and hoo-hah, and a tank top made out of the most unforgiving material I've ever seen.

How do I remedy this???

Well, for starters, I cut the waistband out of the pantyhose. Goodbye sizing.

I'm supposed to tuck my shirt into my shorts (thus accentuating the tire caused my the shorts band even MORE) but I haven't been. We wear a belt with a pouch on it, so I just kind of tighten it so that it covers the end of my shirt and makes me look a bit thinner.

My uniform is a medium. Medium shirt, medium shorts. And I was basically told that's as high as it goes. The top isn't that big of a deal... I only have a medium because my new bra makes my boobs so huge they won't fit in a small.

But the shorts... No worries, bosses. This uniform slap in the face is going to cause a shrinkage in my body. I don't want to be the fat girl on staff any more than you want me to be.

I feel like I look horrible in the uniform, but I must not because about 4 men last night pulled me over to their tables just to chat me up and blatantly look at my body. One guy tipped me for absolutely nothing.

Stupid. Men are stupid.

My goal is to lose some inches asap. I've barely been eating lately... I just have to up my output.

And one of the girls I work with told me last night she could get me adderol, and I'm PSYCHED. I'm going to get some from her as soon as Rene pays me the money she owes me for tickets...

I invited Rene to go to a concert with me tomorrow... We don't talk much anymore, and honestly this is my last ditch effort to re-kindle some friendship.

The problem is that I don't like her enough to tolerate actually making the plans... Augh why did I invite her??? I don't even like her anymore. I swear if there is one issue tomorrow I'm done with her. This is her LAST chance.

2 comments:

  1. Having to wear that outfit is definitely good motivation. I kinda miss being objectified from my promo model days! It's kinda fun getting attention from stupid silly men!!

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  2. maaan.. I remember my work polos... So shapeles and from a TERRIBLE MATERIAL. I seriously think they are doing it on purpose.

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