Saturday, July 23, 2011

Chevy dreams

I dreamed about Chevy last night.

I was around the corner down a dark hallway in a building, stark naked, and I got a glimpse of him talking to someone... Smiling.

My heart jolted, my emotions. I wanted to run and talk to him and see him and ask why he didn't text me back on Christmas... But I couldn't because I was naked. I was too exposed and I knew I shouldn't.

How symbolic.

I don't know why I dreamed of him. I guess because Rene and I were talking about him and the whole situation the other day.

I do miss him. I miss our friendship and how open I could be with him... I wish so badly things hadn't gotten so serious and dramatic and that he hadn't fallen in love with me...

Goal today: No food until dinner. Coffee only.

I have no idea what the parents are expecting to do tonight, and we're leaving in mere hours to drive there anyway, so I'm not going to eat in preparation.

The scale this morning was not pretty after yesterday's horrendous eating. I'm pretty sure it's just sodium and water retention today because the number was extremely high compared to all week AND my hands and feet are SO swollen... I ate a lot of fast food which I haven't done in forever, so I'm assuming I just need to drink water water water today.

My goal this weekend is to come home and weigh in Monday morning and have it all off and maybe a little more.

I know it's possible if I just FOCUS.

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