The scale told me I weight 114lbs this morning.
I don't know WHERE this drive in me has come from lately, but it's amazinggg.
Sunday, however was not so amazing..,
I am completely incapable of being home alone without binging and purging.
I don't know WHAT causes it, but I do EVERY TIME.
If I know the hubby is going to be gone for a significant period of time and I can eat whatever I want and throw up as loudly as I want, that's the first thing I do. Monday was no exception, though I really tried to fight it. I crammed down 2 bowls of cereal, a piece of garlic bread, a handful of cookies, three baggies of chips, some lunch meat, and an English muffin.
Luckily all of this of easily purge-able, so it didn't ruin my day completely.
I don't know WHY I do it, but I always do...
Then yesterday I had a rough day as well. I didn't eat anything except my lollipop at work and drink my caffeinated beverages, and when I got home the hubby wanted to go out for Mexican. I did as well, so I agreed to it. I was SO hungry that once we sat down with a pile of chips and our drinks, I dove in. I ate half the chips and slugged down a margarita which made me QUITE drunk considering I had no food in my system all day.
Then I slugged down another drink and got to work on my entree. I devoured that and then I KNEW that 1.) I had eaten too much and 2.) I had waaay too much to drink on so little food. These 2 little points allotted me permission to purge in my drunk mind.
Luckily doing so let me sober up a little bit. I was effing wasted.
But I honestly had a really good time. I laughed and ate and joked like a normal person and then got rid of the evidence that I had been acting normal. The hubby and I had a blast.
I just wish you didn't have to pay as much for food if you planned on throwing it up anyway.