Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Purging and Mexican

The scale told me I weight 114lbs this morning.

I don't know WHERE this drive in me has come from lately, but it's amazinggg.

Sunday, however was not so amazing..,

I am completely incapable of being home alone without binging and purging.

I don't know WHAT causes it, but I do EVERY TIME.

If I know the hubby is going to be gone for a significant period of time and I can eat whatever I want and throw up as loudly as I want, that's the first thing I do. Monday was no exception, though I really tried to fight it. I crammed down 2 bowls of cereal, a piece of garlic bread, a handful of cookies, three baggies of chips, some lunch meat, and an English muffin.

Luckily all of this of easily purge-able, so it didn't ruin my day completely.

I don't know WHY I do it, but I always do...

Then yesterday I had a rough day as well. I didn't eat anything except my lollipop at work and drink my caffeinated beverages, and when I got home the hubby wanted to go out for Mexican. I did as well, so I agreed to it. I was SO hungry that once we sat down with a pile of chips and our drinks, I dove in. I ate half the chips and slugged down a margarita which made me QUITE drunk considering I had no food in my system all day.

Then I slugged down another drink and got to work on my entree. I devoured that and then I KNEW that 1.) I had eaten too much and 2.) I had waaay too much to drink on so little food. These 2 little points allotted me permission to purge in my drunk mind.

Luckily doing so let me sober up a little bit. I was effing wasted.

But I honestly had a really good time. I laughed and ate and joked like a normal person and then got rid of the evidence that I had been acting normal. The hubby and I had a blast.

I just wish you didn't have to pay as much for food if you planned on throwing it up anyway.


  1. The problem with my binges lately is I hardly chew anymore, so things like bread are a no go...ha ha. Basically I'm jealous of your ability, even if I'd rather we didn't do these things to ourselves at all ..


  2. Yeah there's no "returns" on food, even if you keep the reciept. Hey your weight is amazeballs! So jealous over here.