Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Purging and Mexican

The scale told me I weight 114lbs this morning.

I don't know WHERE this drive in me has come from lately, but it's amazinggg.

Sunday, however was not so amazing..,

I am completely incapable of being home alone without binging and purging.

I don't know WHAT causes it, but I do EVERY TIME.

If I know the hubby is going to be gone for a significant period of time and I can eat whatever I want and throw up as loudly as I want, that's the first thing I do. Monday was no exception, though I really tried to fight it. I crammed down 2 bowls of cereal, a piece of garlic bread, a handful of cookies, three baggies of chips, some lunch meat, and an English muffin.

Luckily all of this of easily purge-able, so it didn't ruin my day completely.

I don't know WHY I do it, but I always do...

Then yesterday I had a rough day as well. I didn't eat anything except my lollipop at work and drink my caffeinated beverages, and when I got home the hubby wanted to go out for Mexican. I did as well, so I agreed to it. I was SO hungry that once we sat down with a pile of chips and our drinks, I dove in. I ate half the chips and slugged down a margarita which made me QUITE drunk considering I had no food in my system all day.

Then I slugged down another drink and got to work on my entree. I devoured that and then I KNEW that 1.) I had eaten too much and 2.) I had waaay too much to drink on so little food. These 2 little points allotted me permission to purge in my drunk mind.

Luckily doing so let me sober up a little bit. I was effing wasted.

But I honestly had a really good time. I laughed and ate and joked like a normal person and then got rid of the evidence that I had been acting normal. The hubby and I had a blast.

I just wish you didn't have to pay as much for food if you planned on throwing it up anyway.

2 comments:

  1. The problem with my binges lately is I hardly chew anymore, so things like bread are a no go...ha ha. Basically I'm jealous of your ability, even if I'd rather we didn't do these things to ourselves at all ..

    <3hana

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  2. Yeah there's no "returns" on food, even if you keep the reciept. Hey your weight is amazeballs! So jealous over here.

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