I should not drink.
The hubby and I decided to go out for a drink to celebrate having a job. (And frankly, we both just wanted to get out of the house.) So, I thought, "Why not!? I can go to the gym later!"
2 vodkas on an empty stomach, and I was DRUNK. Then I started eating. Fried food, wings, chips and spinach dip, whatever. I pigged out.
I asked the bartender where the restroom was, intent to purge it all up. She said, "It's out of order right now, and trust me, you do NOT want to go in there."
I was SO drunk I almost said, "All I want to do is throw up, it's not like I need it to be that clean."
But I managed to somehow get to the car without spilling my secrets.
We stopped for gas. Gas station bathroom = easy to purge. I locked myself in and got rid of the calories and alcohol.
Then I thought, "Well, I've already thrown up, might as well keep going." SO we stopped for ice cream. I ate THREE bowls with whipped cream and a snack cake and purged again at home.
Now my head is THROBBING. I drank 3 glasses of water and it didn't help.
BUT, the impulse is gone now... I ate everything I wanted to eat (a.k.a. everything in sight), had 2 easy purges, and I feel okay. I feel like I could go another week without any binge moments.
Weird how sometimes B&P's make me feel SO bad... Like a horrible person who is just disgusting and awful and depressed... And sometimes they make me feel BETTER... Not better as in well or healthy, but better as in, "I enjoyed that."
That's really sick, isn't it?