Friday, July 30, 2010

Recent Goings-on

Up againnn. 119 this morning. FUCK.

I feel like a cow.

The hubby keeps wanting to have intimate little dinners loaded with calories, and I can't say no...

However, I am going to re-gain control. Yesterday's intake was low, low, low, and today's will be as well. Those intimate little dinners are going to become Cally-controlled dinners with healthy, minimal calories.

I need to lose 10 pounds in 7 days.

The Hubby's BFF is getting married, and I want to look thin at their wedding.

Warning, bitch story ahead:

Him and his wife-to-be started dating right around the time that me and the hubby started dating, and they have always been in our relationship's life.

When we first all got together, the girl was soooo pretty, and I was a fatty-mcfatterson. She used to have an ED (she didn't go to her senior prom because she was in the hospital) and now... This is the heaviest I've ever seen her. She's still beautiful, but bigger.

And I don't know why, but it is SO important that I look thin when I'm around her. Now that I am thinner, it's vital for me to look thin around her.

Bitchy, I know, but it's true. And I want to weigh what I weighed on wedding day when I see them... SO... 7 pounds to go, but I'm aiming for 9.

I can do it.

Today's Plan:
B: Coffee - 2
L: Fajita Salad - 200 - 5:00pm
D: Sugarfree Red Bull - 10
Snack at Work: Celery and Dip: 50 - 8:30pm
After Work: Alcohol - 200???
Total: 462

I'm trying to determine what to drink, and that will determine my calories... I'm limiting to 2 drinks, and since I'll basically have no food in my system, that should get me PLENTY drunk.

I have to go out for G's birthday tonight... And Chevy will be there, of COURSE... He's leaving "forever" (yeah, that's happened about 4 times already) on Monday, so only 2 more days of being around him and dealing with his shit... Chef said last night even if he wants to come back again in the future, he's not going to let him, so it should be the last I ever see of Chevy.

Last night he was SO.... Augh!

Frustrating.

He didn't talk to me at first... I thought maybe he wasn't going to, because with us saying our goodbyes before I left town, I thought that might be the end of it... BUT then he came over, looking down-trodden.

"Congrats, honey."

Blah, blah, fucking, blah.

"Don't be fake," I think, and he must have read my mind because the next thing I know he's telling me he's going to miss me SO much when he's gone and tells me to expect drunk calls. And tells me he's going to send me love poems and photos of himself in heart boxers.

Jesus.

I thought that after I was MARRIED and it was FINAL that he would cut the shit, but apparently not... And every time I looked up last night he was looking at me like a heart-broken puppy... And once he looked like he was going to cry.

I'm not even kidding.

I just don't GET IT.

Apparently while I was gone, Chevy texted G on my wedding day and was trying to hook up with her. She told me she texted him back, "What's wrong? Freaking out because Cally's getting married today?"

Thanks a lot, G.

But she hasn't told me yet what he replied... She will tho tonight and I want to hear the full story.

But I'm glad he's leaving because I need to get the FUCK away from him and this drama... I just hope he behaves well tonight.

Especially since I plan on looking fucking AMAZING in my leopard print dress that makes me look thin and like I have fab boobies!

Thin thin, ladies!

I'll update tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. About that girl you want to look thin for...hey whatever motivates you right?

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  2. I totally have those people that I am secretly competitive with. I always wonder if they are that way with me or if they are blissfully just doing their own thing. Or perhaps there is someone who is like that with me that I am unaware of? Hehehe, it's fun to think about :) But she's probably aware if she has any experience with eating disorders. Good luck dealing with Chevy, sound like he's sorta creepy :/

    xoRoseox

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