Sunday, November 29, 2009

One. Pound.

I'm up a pound.

Not too terrible if I could manage to get my ass back on track.

I am all over the fucking place lately... I need to steady myself, think positively, and get back in the gym.

It's hard because it's SO cold out, and I never feel like working out, and my ipod got washed and died. My mom is replacing it for Christmas, but that hasn't come yet, so I have no music!

I'm just so discouraged... I feel like I'm always going to be a fat cow, so what's the point???

I don't even want to re-live how much I binged Thursday and Friday... It was shameful.

I have been trying to stick to the game-plan but I'm not succeeding!

Ab workout when I get home tonight - I'm forcing myself... And NO MORE food today. I've had oatmeal, a grilled chicken salad, and random bites of things at work, so if I stop now, I had an "okay" day. Not ideal but not terrible...

I feel terrible though. I feel like a complete failure and like I'll never be where I want to be and like I'm struggling so hard to push toward something I can't accomplish because I can't focus hard enough.

I feel like a FAILURE.

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