Today = major FUCK UP.
Went to work and had chicken salad... God only fucking knows what's in it... And some bread. Left work and went to McDonalds. Had chicken nuggets, fries, a fucking McFlurry and a sweet tea.
Came home, puked it alll up.
Probably one of the most unpleasant throw-ups I've ever had... Throwing up icecream is SO gross to me... Worse than any other food. Probably because it's sweet and biley at the same time and always still cold when I throw it up. EW.
Then swore off all food and that I would eat light at the Japanese place tonight with the brother. Did NOT eat light... Had a roll of sushi, half a tempura veggie app, and about a third of my rice, veggies, and meat from the hibatchi plate.
Came home and threw it allll up.
I've officially decided that Asian food is the easiest for me to mia. Something about little cut-up bits of food, rice, and the fact that I drink tons of water when I eat it that makes it simple for me to regurgitate easily, and I never really mind the taste.
But anyway... Calories today?
Dammit, Cally. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Know what it is? Mia is addicting, and I'm hooked.
There is no better feeling to me than eating what I want, stuffing my face, enjoying every bite, fully knowing that I'll be throwing it up. Nothing better than waiting a few minutes while I drink so much water, I think I'll pop. And then going into the bathroom, jiggling my insides, leaning over the toilet, and purging.
Even the word is amazing to me.
Love, love, love.
The feeling after, when I feel an amazing high, like I'm in control, like everything in the world is as it should be, is amazing to me.
But I need to stop.
I know it.
In other news...
I want to message my ex boyfriend... But I don't know why. It's probably been like a year since we've talked... I miss him.
I have more to say, but I don't want to say it now.
I suddenly feel very drained.
Later, my loves.