Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Black and White

Wowww... 14 followers! I love you ladies!

SO today was a SHIT-tacular day... Allll around. Work SUCKED, and I feel lonely here... And we freaken' went out to dinner tonight.

I ate too much... Not amount-wise but caloric-wise. I had breakfast at work (bagel... bad, bad, bad... Like 270) Then had some fucking CHOCOLATE. (Who knows... 250?) Then hibachi with the BF (BTW, we've been together almost 2 years. :-) And I threw that up AT the fucking restaurant because I was panicking so bad... FUCK me... I need to go shopping... So no cals there.. And then a muffin when I got home. 170 cals. I mean, my cals today were only like 690 since I mia'd the hibachi, but still... I was at about 55o last week... And I'm not loving the additions every day... Maybe I'll go grocery shopping a bit tomorrow since I don't have to work... THAT's exactly what I'll do. I need apples, celery, etc. And some soup that's LOW cal... And broccoli... Yeah, I'll go grocery shopping!

AND tomorrow, I have my interview at fourrr! I am so excited. I REALLY think I have the job... I need a new job so bad. FUCK I hate the one I have... A LOT. It's a shit hole, and I DESPISE it.

But anyway... No weight change at all since the 10 dropped... Probably because of the lame-ass eating habits lately with no good food in the house... Plus my body is all fucked up in the woman department lately and I'm having breakthrough bleeding and everything. Fucking pill. Why would I take it if it does this shit!? Apparently when I was reading about it online, it can be caused by too much grapefruit, and I've been eating it a lot lately AND I missed a pill. But it's fucking ANNOYING.


And it makes me feel like I'm on my period and I'm kind of a moody mess... PLUS my BFFF is having issues lately and I haven't been able to talk to her yet so I'm kind of freaking out about that...

And food is my crutch. I'm totally an emotional/bored eater. And that's both been the case lately.

But I just read all of your updates and I feel so inspired to do better!!!

You ladies are wonderful...

So tomorrow's goals:
1.) Eat less than 500 because the past few days have been around 700, except yesterday which was around 400...
2.) Go grocery shopping and get some damn food that's not a zillion cals!
3.) Throw away/hide the BF's chocolate in some way...
4.) Eliptical at the fitness room for at least :30 and then one of my videos... Maybe abs.

BUT that's basically all...

OH! Something nice did happen today though... I was getting dressed to go out to dinner, and the BF said he wasn't going to dress up, so I was trying to figure out what to wear, and I have this white shirt I never wear (because I look FAT in it) but it's really cute, so I pulled it out and though "I'll just try it on and if it looks bad I'll toss it aside and NOT get depressed here..." But it looked REALLY good! I was so psyched... I honestly do look better and it's a nice change...

Anyway... Some thinspo. In black and white because that's just kidn of my mood today. I still have a LONG way to go before I look this good...


  1. Good luck with the interview!

  2. Best of luck with the interview, and you should not beat yourself up so much, your consumption really was not that awfulyl horrific!

    Oh and congratulations on the white shirt, it is such a resolve strengthener when something like that happens!

    ella xx

  3. Good luck in the interview!! Your "binge" was sooo not that bad!! I'd be pleased if I had a day that low. And wow, congrats on the white shirt too, glad it looked cute!!

  4. Best of luck with the interview! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.