Friday, March 6, 2009

Expletives

So, I'm not going to lie about things... I'm just going to confess my guilt.

Yesterday I got si-i-ick after I wrote that post. I think it was the Splenda in the drink (I think I REALLY am allergic to that shit!) along with the extreme amount of exercising (I did more than planned) the fact that I had just veggies, and the STRESS level I was experiencing because I did NOT keep track of time and was almost late for my interview...

So I felt like shit, my blood-sugar was too low... I basically crashed... And I got to the point where I thought I was going to pass out. And I HATE that feeling. I always monitor my food intake so that I do NOT experience this, and I did yesterday worse than I ever have... So I binged...

Uuuuuugggghhhh.

At the time, I thought "Okay, I'll just eat something until the BF gets home because I'm feel like I'm going to DIE." And I was so weak and hungry and feeling like shit I just ate... And ate... And stupidly had a trigger food...

Cheerios.
Which lead to half a fiber bar.
Which lead to a snack cake.
Which lead to a glass of milk.
Which lead to a sandwich.
Which lead to another glass of milk.

And then I didn't purge.

Namely because it honestly took this much food until I wasn't feeling like I was literally going to DIE... Augh. I just couldn't stop eating...

It's a good thing I basically didn't eat anything else before the B because that list is a monster... It put my day at around 1,200. Which is NOT where I wanted to beeee!

AT ALL!!!

SO bad day to say the least... But honeslty there's nothing I can do about it now... I just have to learn a lesson from this and move on to today...

And honestly, when I read online about how many calories I should have, "Weight Loss Intake" put me at 1,300. SO I guess that's just about even, and I DID eat neg cal for breakfast and lunch and burn like 500 on the eliptical... Which doesn't count my ab video and walking to the gym...

So I guess I'm just a little less than OKAY... But I want to be FABULOUS!

Fuuuuckkk me.

I'm such a fat, disgusting cow... I will never attain my goals if I do this...
I need to whip my ass into shape here and stop being pathetic.


But in other news...

I GOT THE JOOOOB!!!

I am soo excited! The interview went great, and the lady loved me... She left the room where she interviewed me and literally walked back in 2 minutes later with paperwork and said they wanted to offer me the job... Yay! She also told me there were over 3,000 applications for the 100 positions they have, so I should feel honored and that they really wanted me.

Pretty schnazzy, huh?

Well anyway... Today's eating goal:
B: Apple (70 neg cals)
L: Soup (120 cals)
D: 300 cals of whatever.

I can accomplish this... It cannot be that hard... I mean, FUCK. NO MORE binging...

Any advice how to combat crashing blood sugar without binging, ladies???

7 comments:

  1. Personally I would advise fruit with natural sugar. Grapes and berries are pretty good for that. Oh and a banana can work wonders I find. Although I just sit down if necessary.

    Do not worry too much about the B, as you said you had negative calroie breakfasts and lunch meals, and you worked out heaps. So I am suer your calories for the day are far less than you think. And the binge was not choclate and sweets and ice cream and the like. Chin up.

    And most f all congratulations on the new job! I am so pleased for you!

    Ella xx

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  2. Congrats on the job!! And with the exercising more than you meant to, and the low blood sugar, honestly it sounds like you had the right amount!! If that's what you needed to not feel like death, that was possibly the right amount. 1200 is not bad!!!!

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  3. thats so great!!!
    gahh im so happy for you =]
    and my blood sugar gets low too sometimes. fruit works wonders for when that happens.

    youll be thin in no time girl

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

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  4. congrats on the job! and omg i LOVE that image. and about that whole crashing thing, i thought i was the only one who goes through that! so its nice to know i can talk to u about this as well.. i hate it because i just end up lying on my bed and losing a lot of time to do other things. i used to have 3-5 jellybeans n this is usually enough to keep me going for an hour but i dont think thats a realli good idea :/ u're better of eating fruits or drinking smoothies xoxoxo

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  5. Yay! That's very exciting.

    I feel better with liquid calories, maybe a tiny bit of juice or soy milk just to keep ya going but not enough to set off a binge.

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  6. YAY!! Congratulations on getting the job!!! :)
    xxxx

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