SO last night was rough.
I consumed waaay more calories than I intended. I almost purged, but the BF has been watching me like a hawk lately since he knows about my past purging history and that I'm "dieting" again and he's noticed I'm starting to lose weight.
Speaking of which, two more pounds gone! Hoorah!
But anyway, I ate some macaroni and cheese. Fuckkk. It was so good and before I knew it I was in cheeseville and leaving Ana far behind. Fuck. It makes me mad to think about it...
I wanted to purge SO bad, but he keeps asking and asking and checking lately. I don't think he's really on to me, per say, I just think he knows how I am and doen't want me to mia here... And he told me he's been standing at the bathroom door and listening lately. To which I thought, "Thanks for the heads up."
But anyway, I have to do better today...
So far I'm doing okay, only about 100 cals so far, and I'm about to eat lunch of about 250 (maybe less if I control portion like woah, which Ima try to do.) And then dinner should be about 200 if I manage to make the BF let me eat what I need to and not more. So a 550 day. NOT bad. Hopefully this will be stuck to.
And, I don't have to work tomorrow, bitchesss! I managed to get my birthday off after all AND Monday, so I can enjoy a couple days off with the BF. Soo nice.
I think we may go out to dinner, which would not bother me because I only have shit to eat in this house, and I could use a nice salad or something.
AND tonight we're going to the ballet as my birthday present! He got me tickets to see "Cinderella" and I am soo excited!
Talk about thinspo, too. Ha ha! Skinny bodies throwing themselves around on stage all night? What could be more inspirational!?
So I'm going to go eat and take a nap maybe cuz I'm really cold.
Good luck, ladies!